Do you know how to deal with conflict? Conflict is a natural part of life; it can be challenging to manage and you need to know how to deal with it in a productive manner. Here are 19 tips on how you can handle conflict more effectively:
Own your feelings
The first step in learning to deal with conflict is to recognize that you are responsible for your own feelings. The other person might be the reason why you’re upset but they aren’t responsible for how you feel unless you allow them to have that power over you. This means instead of telling people off, getting angry, or passive aggressively trying to get your point across, try communicating your feelings in a healthy way.
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings
Not only do you need to own your feelings, but you also need to acknowledge the other person’s feelings. This means putting yourself in their shoes and trying to see things from their perspective. Try considering how you would feel if the roles were reversed and think about what they might be thinking and feeling. Once you acknowledge their feelings, try to come up with a solution that works for both of you.
Discuss the situation
It’s important to discuss the situation with your partner so you can attempt to reach an agreement on how things should be handled in the future. This discussion needs to happen when emotions are not running too high, otherwise it will be difficult for people to listen objectively to each other’s point-of-view. An ideal time is when both of you are calm and ready to listen without interruption. It may take several attempts to resolve the conflict but it can be done as long as both of you are willing to work together.
Don’t bottle things up
If you’re feeling angry or upset, it’s important to express these feelings instead of bottling them up. This will only create more tension and could lead to an explosive argument later on. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and don’t be afraid of hurting their feelings because the only way to deal with conflict is to air your grievances.
Don’t play the blame game
Dwelling on who’s responsible for causing the problem will just create more tension between you, so focus on resolving things instead. Neither of you are perfect so there might not even be a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ party. Don’t try to play the blame game and focus on solving things so both of you can move forward in a positive way.
Look for solutions together
Instead of arguing about who’s at fault, think about what you can do differently to prevent conflict from occurring again. This is where you need to put your thinking caps on and think of solutions that will work for both of you. Coming up with a plan together is important so you can learn from what went wrong and create a better, more positive experience moving forward.
Practice active listening
One of the best ways to avoid conflict in future is to practice active listening instead of just waiting for your turn to speak. Active listening means you’re not only paying attention to what the other person is saying, but you’re also taking their feelings and thoughts into account. Repeating back what you’ve heard them say shows that you’re taking everything they’re saying seriously and that you want to work together to resolve the conflict.
Don’t use sarcasm
Sarcasm might seem like a good way to get your point across but it’s actually very destructive and can easily be misinterpreted. It also creates more tension and can make the situation worse. If you’re feeling tense, try to take a step back and find a more productive way to communicate your feelings.
Take a break
If things are getting too heated, it might be a good idea to take a break. This will give both of you time to cool down and come back later with a more rational perspective. Sometimes all it takes is a few hours or even a day for people to calm down and see things more clearly.
Don’t give up
It’s easy to give up when things get tough, but that’s not going to help you resolve the conflict. You need to be persistent and stay calm even when things are getting heated. Remember, it’s important to focus on finding a solution that works for both of you, so don’t give up until you’ve reached an agreement.
Don’t raise your voice
When you’re frustrated or angry, it’s easy to start raising your voice and resorting to aggressive tactics. However, this will only make the situation worse because it shows that you can’t control yourself and aren’t willing to listen to the other person. Try to remain calm and speak in a level tone.
Don’t bring up old history
Don’t try to argue about what went wrong in the past because it won’t change anything. People make mistakes, no matter how careful they are, so there’s no point in dwelling on things that have already happened. Bringing up old history will only cause more tension and could result in a pointless argument that will achieve nothing.
If the argument has turned into a blame game, it’s easy to start making generalized statements and assumptions that can escalate things even further. Instead of generalizing, focus on what happened and how you feel about it without trying to put each other down or accusing them of being ‘the problem’ all the time.
Use “I” statements
When you’re communicating your feelings, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, “I feel frustrated when you don’t listen to me” is a lot more effective than “You never listen to me.” This will help the other person understand where you’re coming from and make them less likely to get defensive.
Don’t use the silent treatment
If someone says something that upsets you, it’s easy to ignore them and give them the silent treatment. However, this will only make the situation worse because it shows that you’re not willing to communicate and can create a lot of tension between both of you. Instead of ignoring things or giving someone the cold shoulder, try to talk things through in a calm and rational way.
Do some damage control
If you’ve said something that’s hurt the other person’s feelings, try to do some damage control as soon as possible. Apologize for what you said and explain that you didn’t mean to hurt them. This will show that you care about their feelings and that you’re willing to make things right.
It’s okay to disagree with someone, but you need to do it in a respectful way. This means listening to what they have to say and taking their feelings and thoughts into account. Repeating back what you’ve heard them say shows that you’re listening and that you understand what they’re saying.
Make compromises and sacrifices
You might not always get what you want, so it’s important to be willing to compromise and make sacrifices. This involves finding the middle ground instead of trying to win all of the arguments. After all, if there were no compromises, everyone would end up unhappy with nothing ever getting resolved.
When dealing with conflict, it’s important to be considerate of the other person’s feelings and thoughts. This means trying not to attack them or put them down, and instead focusing on resolving the conflict in a civil way. Remember, it’s okay to have different opinions but that doesn’t mean you can’t be respectful towards one another.
In conclusion, conflict is a natural part of life but it can be managed more effectively by following these tips. By being respectful and compromising when necessary, you can reach a resolution that’s beneficial for both parties. So don’t be afraid to deal with conflict head-on, just remember to stay calm and constructive!