30 Common Mistakes That Prevent Friendship From Taking Hold

Friendship is a powerful thing but it can be hard to find and keep friends. Friendship may be difficult to maintain because you’re too busy, too shy, or just don’t know how to make friends in the first place.

Whatever the reason may be, there are many common mistakes that people make that end up preventing friendship from taking hold in their lives. Let’s explore 30 of them!

Making Yourself Too Available

It’s great when someone wants your company all the time but if you never have any time for yourself then no one will want to spend their free time with you either. Make sure to set boundaries so that others know they need to invest some effort into making plans with you which makes them more likely hang out with you.

Being too Busy

This is a common problem for people today. We are all so busy with work and our personal lives that we don’t have time for anything else. Unfortunately, this means that friendships can easily fall by the wayside. Make time for your friends by scheduling regular meetups or committing to Skype calls or social media chats at least once a week.

Judging Too Quickly

It can be hard not to judge someone when we first meet them but it’s important to remember that everyone is different and everyone has something to offer. Don’t let your preconceived notions get in the way of making a new friend.

Not Taking Enough Interest

It can be easy to just go through the motions when meeting new people but if you really want to make friends, you need to take an interest in them. Ask them questions about themselves, their lives, and what they like to do. This will help you get to know them better and form a stronger bond.

Not Being Genuine

Trying too hard to be someone you’re not is a surefire way to ruin any chance of making friends. Be genuine and honest with those you meet – they will appreciate your candor and be more likely to want to get to know you better.

Focusing on Your Differences

When we first meet someone, we tend to focus on the ways that we are different. This can be a major stumbling block when it comes to making friends. Instead, try to focus on the things that you have in common. You may be surprised at how much you have in common with people once you start looking for it.

Not Being Involved

One of the best ways to make friends is to get involved in activities that you enjoy. this will give you opportunities to meet likeminded people who share your interests. It can also help build strong relationships as people tend to bond over shared experiences.

Focusing on the Negative

We are all guilty of this from time to time – we focus on the one negative thing someone said rather than all of the positive things they’ve done. This is not a good way to make friends as people will quickly get tired of your critical attitude. Instead, try to focus on the good things that your friends do and be more positive in your interactions with them.


Another thing that can quickly turn people off is gossiping about others. Not only is it bad karma, but it also makes you look like a negative person. If you want to make friends, steer clear of this type of behavior.

Talking Too Much About Yourself

It’s great to share about yourself but if all you do is talk about yourself then people will lose interest quickly. Make sure to ask your friends about themselves too – after all, you want what you do to be interesting to them.

Having Unrealistic Expectations

If you are always expecting people to act a certain way then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, try to get to know people for who they truly are and embrace their differences. This will help your friendships seem more natural instead of something that’s forced or fake.

Not Being Organized

It can be easy to ignore plans with friends if you aren’t organized but this is definitely one of the biggest mistakes when it comes to making friends. Keep track of all of your commitments in one place so that your friends can see what is coming up before asking them out on a date or meeting up for coffee.

Ignoring People

If you ignore your friends when they communicate with you, it can make them feel like you don’t value their time and that is not likely to lead to good things down the road. Be sure to respond whenever possible and let go of any negative feelings if a conversation doesn’t go the way you wanted it to.

Focusing on All Your Friendships

If you spend all of your time focusing on one friendship in particular then people might get tired of hearing about it all the time or they will assume that the other friendships in your life are lacking somehow. Even though this can be difficult at times, try not to focus too much on one friendship when out and about.

Not Relaxing

It can be tough to make friends when you’re always on edge and not relaxed. If you’re feeling shy or anxious, take a few deep breaths and try to relax before meeting up with your friends. This will help you seem more comfortable in their company and make it easier for them to get to know you better.

Not Being Yourself

If you are trying to impress someone or act a certain way in order to get them to like you then this is definitely not the way to go. People will only respect your efforts if they feel like they are genuine so be yourself and stop trying so hard.

Focusing on What You Don’t Have

When we compare ourselves to others, it can make us feel like we are lacking in some way. This is definitely not a good mindset when it comes to making friends. Instead, try to focus on the things that you do have in common with others and be grateful for the relationships that you do have.

Reading Too Much into Things

It can be easy to read too much into conversations with friends but pushing your expectations on people can lead to some very awkward situations. Try not to make things more than what they truly are and simply enjoy their company for who they are instead of who you want them to me.

Not Being Respectful

When people feel disrespected, they are less likely to want to spend time with you. This doesn’t mean that you should never argue or express your opinion but there is a certain level of respect that needs to be kept at all times if you don’t want friendships to suffer for it later on down the road.

Not Trusting Your Gut Feeling

Although it’s great when other people validate your feelings, you should also trust yourself when it comes to handling friendships. Often, gut feelings can help us spot red flags that others might not see and this will prevent some uncomfortable situations down the road.

Not Asking for What You Need

You should never be shy when asking for things from others especially if it means getting what you need more effectively whenever possible. If you aren’t getting the attention that you would like from someone then let them know instead of letting it fester and eventually explode.

Being Jealous

Jealousy can destroy even the strongest relationships so try not to compare yourself too much with others when out in public or spending time with friends. Even if someone does have something than us, it doesn’t mean that it’s bad or that we can’t still be friends with them.

Not Responding When They Reach Out

Although you don’t have to respond to every text or call, not responding at all can be just as bad as responding in a negative way. If you are too busy then let them know ahead of time and try to schedule a time for a catch-up that works for the both of you.

Holding grudges

If you hold onto grudges, it will be difficult for your friends to forgive you and move on. This is definitely not healthy for any friendship and it might be time to let go of those negative feelings if you want to continue to strengthen your bond with them.

Not Being Honest About Your Feelings

Sometimes, it’s difficult for us to express our true feelings but this can be especially dangerous when it comes to friendships. If you are feeling shy or don’t want to spend time with someone anymore, try to be honest and upfront about how you feel so they know where you stand and you don’t have the stress of losing a friendship on your mind.

Inviting Them Somewhere They Don’t Want to Go

If they say ‘no” then respect that decision and move on. Inviting people somewhere that they don’t want to go will only cause major problems down the road so it’s always best to ask them first before making any assumptions.

Ignoring Their Calls or Texts

Just like not responding, ignoring their calls or texts will only make things worse in the long run. If there is something important that you need to discuss with them then try to find the time to do so instead of avoiding the situation and hoping that it will go away.

Bringing Up Past Arguments

Even if you’re trying to be funny, bringing up past arguments can be a major turnoff for friends. If you want to move on and have a fresh start then try to avoid bringing up anything that could potentially ruin the mood.

Talking About Them Behind Their Back

This is just as bad as gossiping about others and it will only lead to more problems in the future. If you have something bad to say, try to say it to their face instead of going behind their back.

Not Spending Enough Time With Them

Although this one might seem like common sense, not spending enough time with your friends can cause them to drift away over time. Try to make a point to see them at least once a week or more if possible so that you can maintain the strong bond that you have with them.


These are just some of the many mistakes that people make when it comes to friendships and they can often lead to negative consequences. By being aware of these common mistakes, hopefully, you can avoid any potential problems and maintain healthy friendships for years to come!