How To Communicate With More Confidence And Charisma


One of the most common fears people have is that they will come across as not confident enough when speaking in front of a group. This fear can be crippling, but it doesn’t have to be. It can indeed be difficult to communicate with confidence and charisma, but this doesn’t mean it’s impossible. The following are 10+ ways How To Communicate With More Confidence And Charisma.

Slow down a bit

You could ask a friend or colleague to help you monitor how fast you talk, and then try speaking a little slower for a week or two until it becomes a habit. In any case, people will remember more of what you say if they have to consciously process the information as opposed to just passively receiving it as a blur of sound.

Focus on the good that can happen

Most people tend to focus on how bad things could get, and this makes them feel nervous about speaking. Try focusing on all of the good things that can come from your talk instead. For example, you might say something like: “I’m feeling a little nervous right now but I know if I just stay confident and communicate with charisma I’ll be able to help a lot of people.”

Practice assertiveness

You might have a genuine reason to be hesitant or uncertain while speaking in front of people, but this should only be the case in very few circumstances… e.g., you know nothing about the topic and would rather admit it than fake your way through an answer. People tend to respect honesty more than anything else, so if there’s a genuine reason for your lack of confidence then go ahead and say so. If not, then get used to being confident from now on by practicing assertiveness.

Dress for success

This is a very simple thing to do, but it has been shown time and again to have a significant effect on people’s behavior. If you dress in an overly casual manner while everyone else is dressed more formally, then it feels strange to be assertive or forceful. Every time I’ve gone out of my way to put on a suit and tie when I’m going somewhere where I feel people will be less formal/professional than usual, my level of confidence soars – especially if I know the event involves meeting new people!

Be aware of your body language

We tend to forget that what we’re saying has a significant effect on our body language. If, for example, you’re speaking in a timid and non-assertive way then your posture will probably reflect this. Your shoulders might be slumped and you could even cross your arms defensively while speaking. Practice speaking with your back straight and your head held high. Also, open up to the audience a little more by pointing in their direction as you speak or saying “you” instead of just “I.”

Visually focus on others

Whenever I’m feeling nervous before going into a presentation, I sit down at my desk and close my eyes for a few seconds and picture my audience in their underwear. After thinking about this for a few seconds, I open my eyes again and feel much better – because it helps to focus on others instead of just yourself.

Ask questions and exchange information

This is much more effective than talking about yourself and what you know all the time because it shows that you’re interested in other people and their lives (because generally speaking, people like to talk about themselves and what they’ve done). If someone asks for your advice or opinion on something, then give it to them but also ask them about their thoughts… e.g., “So do you agree with me? What would you do in this situation?” etc. This not only makes the conversation flow better but could lead to a friendship or working relationship down the line!

Project your voice

If you speak quietly or mumble, then people will have to strain their ears and/or lean in closer just to be able to hear what you’re saying. This makes them feel less engaged with the conversation and more importantly, gives the impression that you find the whole thing unimportant which might lead to them losing respect for your opinion! Practice projecting your voice by trying to speak a little bit louder than usual – but not so much that it makes you uncomfortable.

Don’t change who you are

If you’re naturally a very confident person, then this does not mean you should suddenly become quiet and reserved when surrounded by people who make you feel less confident! This will only reinforce the negative stereotype these people have of you and put them in the “superior” position. Instead, be yourself and speak out if something is on your mind or you want to share an opinion – don’t let other people’s low expectations stop you from fulfilling your potential!

Use more hand gestures

Research has shown that talking with hand gestures significantly increases peoples’ impressions of your intelligence and charisma – so the next time you speak to someone, try using more hand gestures than usual. It might feel a little unnatural at first, but it will quickly become more natural and authentic as your confidence grows.

Follow the 3-second rule

When someone makes eye contact with you and smiles, it’s rude to ignore them! All you have to do is smile back and say “Hi!” (or if you prefer something less direct then greet them with a small wave and say “Hey!”) This allows you to interact with this other person without having to make any effort to initiate the conversation yourself. It will also reduce the amount of nervousness you might experience beforehand by allowing you to start speaking immediately after they’ve done so – if that makes sense!

Express your opinions calmly

If you’re feeling very angry about something, then it’s better to try and keep your emotions in check before you speak because otherwise there’s a high chance that this anger will come across in your voice. The last thing you want is for the person or people on the receiving end of your rant/lecture to feel threatened by you so always remember to speak calmly. If you think the adrenaline is getting too much for you, then try taking a few deep breaths or calming walks to help calm down your nerves!

Hold longer conversations

If you want to have people wanting to speak to you more often, then the best thing to do is start holding conversations for longer. This is because research has found that most people are satisfied with brief “surface level” interactions with each other and only come back if they feel there’s enough of an “emotional connection”. So talk about something the other person is interested in/has knowledge about, or else try sharing some information yourself – the more time you spend together just talking, the stronger this emotional connection becomes!

Be interested in them

This might sound very obvious but it’s one of the most important rules to follow if you want to have successful conversations with people. People are very perceptive and have excellent “bullshit detectors” so it will be very obvious if you’re only pretending to care about what they have to say. Be tactful of course – there’s no point in actually having the conversation if the other person is not interested! But if are genuinely curious about what they are saying, then this will come across to other people very clearly and make you more desirable as a conversation partner.

Speak about the subject, not the person

If you keep talking about how great/awful someone else is, then this will make you seem like less of an interesting person to be around. Of course, if the other person is the reason for your conversation (e.g. asking about them) then go ahead – but don’t let this turn into a regular thing because people will see you as lacking depth if all you do is gush or talk negatively about others.

Work on your pronunciation

Sometimes we forget that we aren’t speaking English as a first language and therefore make little mistakes with our pronunciation, grammar, or word usage that end up sounding like nothing more than typos to other people (e.g. saying “can” instead of “may”). This will seriously undermine how much people enjoy the conversations they have with you so try and correct these little mistakes as often as possible.

Perform the body language of a leader

Research has found that people subconsciously assume that whoever is in control of their environment (e.g. in charge) must be more intelligent and powerful than they are and therefore assign these characteristics onto them even if it’s not true. All you need to do is carry yourself with an air of confidence and authority and people will automatically think of you as a leader – just remember to not look down on them because of it!

Have the “power” conversation first

If you’re worried about being perceived as shy or introverted, another good rule of thumb is to start the conversation with something that reveals your position of power – or at least presents it to others. You can do this by asking for help over the phone, offering to buy coffee/lunch at the beginning of a meeting, or just discussing whatever you’re the expert at. This will give an impression of confidence and intelligence while making it easier for others to start talking too without feeling anxious!

Be prepared to talk about yourself

When you’re having a conversation with someone, there’s nothing worse than them not asking questions back so it can feel like all they are doing is waiting for you to finish what you’re saying so they can have their turn. Make sure the other person is just as invested in the conversation by giving them opportunities to ask things about you too – this will help them feel more comfortable around you and let them know that it’s okay for them not always to be on the receiving end of the conversation.

Be enthusiastic and/or positive about everything

It is an unfortunate truth that we subconsciously judge others more positively (and harshly) if they display signs of enthusiasm and happiness, and at the same time we judge them less negatively (and also less accurately) when they are showing signs of negative feelings. Try to fill your conversations with as much enthusiasm and positivity as you can even when it’s not warranted (e.g. saying “oh, it’s nothing” when someone asks why you’re upset), and people will find you more likable/trustworthy!

Conclusion

As you can see, these are just a few simple ways that you can work on your social skills and start having more interesting conversations with people. Hopefully, these will also make you seem like a more interesting person to be around and thus make it easier for you to interact with others! Thank you for reading and I hope you found this article useful.

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